The endless pain

I wish we had never met
For we won't now be suffering in this torment
There was no way our love could grow
There is noting we can do
We love each other is only i know
But what should i do
I have no clue
From now our roads are different
Path so endless
feel of loneliness
I feel so low
In front of fate we all bow
But we can't let our live to grow

I lived a lie
A story i was sure will surely die
But how could i stop myself from loving a prrson I adore
The person everyday I want more and more

I'm going insane
I promised I will always be fine
so i am ending this agony and this pain...

My black diary

On a black diary beside
I have pages nothing but white

I grab my pen, old yet fine
And start drawing lines only line

I watch the ink thick then thin
And think of all the stories that it lie within

Glorious stories, adventures, fairy tales
But then i look inside and find my incomplete story that always fail....

A game that abends....

Let me tell you about a game I play
Where I close my eyes and fade away

I fly to a special place far away
Beyond the stars and the moon and the reality maze

In this special world of my you can see
There are only two people - just you and me

In this world of mine everything is right
Nothing but love, and we never fight

In this world, we have never seen sadness
No problems no griefs and none of that madness

We have
No rules to follow, no laws to break
No bars to hold us or separate

No one to tell us we can't be together as such 
I don't just tell you "I love you" - I show you how much

But eventually i know this game must end
My eyes must open, and leading to abend....

and the noise of silence...

there are many reasons of silence but what one cause could be loneliness.... yes loneliness and it changes a person so drastically that you can never imagine or dream of.. loneliness kills.. As said by Mother Teresa "Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty".

                       Loneliness is not only terrible but it is a terror.. and increases exponentially... even i feel a haunting loneliness sometimes and had felt it in others... through the night & day through the dusk and dawn it just comes and tears us apart most go into depression and eventually into silence... we read those umpteen books on self management and happiness sometimes also on motivation and moving but they all go in vain because life is never what you make it.. but you are what life makes you... 

     your reason of loneliness can be different but the aftermath of loneliness is always same SILENCE... and this silence first comes crawling but once it gets it path it starts running and it runs so fast that eventually it eats you whole... you live with a hollow soul with no agony, agitation, amusement, anxiety, love, care, awe, or any feeling... all that is left is just an abandoned soul.. 

                                                     and finally a stage comes when you do nothing for yourself whatever you do is for others even you breath for others smile for others see for others talk for others... actually live for others.. and then their is no you existing its just a body reacting and moving for others.. and then slowly a day comes when you are worn out you SILENTLY QUIT..

yeah its valentine's day... so called day of love so one for this......

love starts with a magic
turns out to be an illusion and slowly vanishes...
what remains is memories to tear you apart..
leaving only broken pieces of your heart...

you long for care...
you long for love...
but what you only get...
are indelible moments to forget....

you stand in a crowd with a fake smile
killing yourself  going a thousand miles...
but every night you are alone on bed
you cant stop teardrops running through eyes...

then comes a time when you think if you could break his heart
but you find yourself sill in  inveiglement of his love...
then you take a step back
and you surrender yourself to the black track.....

i want you to stay
one more  day
want u near come what may
don't want to think what they say
i  want you to stay 
one more day....

life is all about the part that you play
people come n walk their way
some hold your hand and want to stay
some bless your life but move away
you are the one whom 
i want to stay 
for one more day....

dreams are better then reality they always say
i want to feel your love again anyway
then only i can survive your betray
i want u to castaway
even if i sound affray
but i want you to stay
one more day.....

Lucky are those who find true love
but I am not lucky enough
Lucky is my man who got me
But I am not lucky enough to get him.
Today you are not mine
but my heart still loves you
today I cant hold you
but my arms are still waiting for you.
When I first met you
I didn't realize that you will be so important to me
when I first hugged you
I didn't realize that it would be the warmest feeling..
With you I feel out of this world
With you I got the meaning of true love
but somebody woke me up n I found
loneliness all around there I realize that it
was a dream which I left behind in my sleep
and now all I can see is my heart is in pieces
and now all I can do is to live in pain without you.....

you left me with tears in my eyes that i cant shed..
thoughts in my mind and alone on bed..
memories that i can never forget..
will never get my smile i can surely bet...

i long for your touch, your warm embrace
the love in your eyes and your smiling face...
i wake and cry for what i lost..
and for the moments we share and what it cost...

i know i can never mend this broken heart..
but i ll love you and will always fall apart....

Fading Light

The light is fading
darkness is all in my soul now
pain sorrow rejection is all i feel...

i have lost my faith in love
am taking back my heart 
sorry for the pain it caused..

cant wish on the stars anymore
cant walk by your side anymore
in my mind the memory will stay 
but you will be long gone...

so cut all the string from my heart
because you will be never mine again........